"I feel so guilty about our financial debt issues."
All over the world and certainly here in that states, people are either experiencing similar basic thoughts and beliefs right now, have in the past, or know someone that is facing the same emotions this very second. You're not alone in how you feel, no one is, really. Why?...because no matter who you are, where you live, who you live with, or how you live, people all have the same core needs, use the same emotions and act or react in similar ways.
Guilt, for example, is an emotion that most everyone has experienced. Depending on many factors, most everyone either chooses to deflect the guilt through a means of distraction or face it with change in mind.
When you feel guilty, it usually means that you've compromised something that is important to you. You may have compromised a belief, value or moral. In any case, check in with yourself and see exactly what it is that you've compromised.
If you feel guilty about your financial debt, then you may feel guilty about compromising your stability or security by spending money on things to make you feel happier, fulfilled or more significant.
Instead of addressing your real problem, you may have spent money on another form of escape, other than shopping. Since you've not shared with me the reasons for your debt, I can only guess.
Perhaps you've had an injury or illness and because of your condition you feel you've put your family into debt, due to your medical bills. Maybe you have an addiction or you've contributed to someone else’s addictive behaviors by supporting them and enabling their habits. Maybe you invested in something that you were influenced to believe would pay you back, and then some! You could have lost your job or had a hard time getting one. Maybe you started your own business, took out loans and the business folded. There are so many possibilities for why you may be in debt.
None of the reasons matter as much as you recognizing what you've compromised. Once you do, then you can learn to use your guilt to empower you instead of allowing it to dis-empower you. You can now decide that you’re not going to make the same choices going forward. Choose to honor you and what is important to you, whatever that may be for you and your family.
The great thing that can come from this emotion you're feeling is…CHANGE.
If you decide that you’re not going to settle for less or feel less anymore, you’ll be motivated to get the answers you need to take new actions towards helping you solve your problems.
Guess what? You've already made that decision or you wouldn't have asked me any questions. So, rather than focus on what you have not yet done. Celebrate what you have done and what you can do from this point in time and beyond.
People often say that “time heals all wounds”, well what I know to be true and say is: Clarity, action, forgiveness…AND time, heals all wounds.
So, don’t get stuck in guilt or blame. Spend only enough time feeling those emotions to motivate you. Then, spend your time on finding your answers, creating solutions and taking action. Doing this will restore what you feel you've lost. You’ll restore faith in yourself and hope in your situation, as you set and accomplish your new goals.
What I've come to understand about you from the other questions you've submitted, and from this statement, is that you've been unhappy for some time and have tried to make yourself feel better. I also know that no matter what has happened, you’re a genuine caring loving person that is driven to do what's right. These are all great qualities to have, so allow yourself to feel good about these attributes. If you weren't all of these things you wouldn't feel the emotion of guilt. By writing and asking for answers, you’re already taking responsibility for what you can control.
Congratulations! You're well on your way to creating the changes you want to make and experience in your life, moving forward. Now that you've chosen not to live this way anymore; now that you've decided not to settle for less all around; now that you're willing and committed to doing what it takes to make change happen...You'll experience more of what you want, and need, to have in your life.
If you need help in addressing your guilt and creating more happiness, success and satisfaction, then reach out and contact me or someone who can help you move out from under loss and pain.
For my answer regarding your question: "I need help to Stop blaming Stress for Causing me to eat foods not on my Plan. How can I stop myself from trying to make myself feel better with food?"
Read the Q&A entry titled: I Am Stressed...Therefore I Eat!
Thank you for your question.
BSG Event Answers For Healthy Woman Members
by CJ Harlan
© copyright 2014