"I had 3 Oreos last night. How do I not feel guilty or beat myself up the next day or 3 days…?"
Girlfriend, Eat The Cookies!
AND..........If you choose to eat 3 cookies, ENJOY THEM!
You didn't eat the whole bag!
I also want you to STOP punishing yourself, during and after, with all the negative language you're using with yourself. It was only one choice you made in your whole day. Look for all the other things you did in your day that made you feel good about yourself.
If you're honest with yourself those cookies tasted good or you wouldn't have eaten them, regardless of whether you were comfort eating.
What you lack is not will power, you lack pampering in your life. You lack experiencing more things that make you feel good, secure, comfortable and wonderful.
So, next time you go to eat some cookies, or any other treat you feel is "BAD" for you, I want you to do the following:
1) Set the rules for your Treat Eating Time…Tell yourself you're going to allow yourself to eat the 3 cookies (this treat) and you're going to enjoy every morsel, every crumb! If you start punishing yourself, you have to add another cookie. Yes, you have to add and eat another cookie for every self attacking inner dialogue you use while you’re eating your tasty treat. Experience a guilty thought, add another cookie! If it’s not a cookie you add another scoop or eat another piece; whatever applies. If you wait and attack yourself after you're done eating them, then you have to sit back down and eat another one for every thought that dis-empowers you. AND…You’re not allowed to do anything else for anyone until you do this, even if it makes you late for work. So the sooner you stop criticizing yourself for enjoying something, the sooner you can quit eating and do something else.
2) Create the Treat Eating Structure…, I want you to grab a stop watch or as it is today with all these techy options, grab a smart phone or tablet, click on the Stop Watch AP and time yourself. See just how long it can take you to enjoy those three yummy cookies. As you savor all 3, making them last as long as you possibly can, you’re only allowed to think about how else you want to pamper yourself the next time you make a choice to treat yourself. Your only visual, while eating, is seeing yourself as the physical being you want to be, how you will feel when you reach any of your goals. See all the many ways in which you can feel comfort, feel secure, feel strong and pamper yourself. I want you to start visualizing all the ways in which others can pamper you. Yes, you're still eating those 3 cookies. It makes sense that the longer it takes you to eat those 3 cookies, the more time you’ll get to spend seeing yourself feeling good and being pampered. So take your time.
3) Make It REAL, Write It Down! - When you’re done ENJOYING your food treat, I want you to open yourself up and write down anything that you thought of that you can choose to do for yourself that you consider to be a physical treat, or an experience that will pamper you. Write down all the ways in which you can be pampered by others. Write down all the things you visualized that gave you comfort, security, strength and feelings of joy. If you took a long time to eat those 3 cookies you should have many pages to celebrate. Find joy in all the many ways you can be pampered now. Find comfort, find excitement and add more variety to your life, by choosing from your list of treat pampering alternatives the next time you go for a food treat. By having the alternatives spelled out for you, so you can achieve these very things you want and need in your life, you gain control. Make sure your list has things that are easy for you to do quickly as well as things you can look forward to planning for and achieving in the future. Refer to this list anytime you want to feel more fulfilled.
Now, the next time you reach for the cookies or a treat, you must do the same thing. Follow the same rules and structure for this “treat eating pampering time”.
Before long, you will:
Stop talking bad to yourself.
Learn to allow yourself to enjoy things more.
Learn to take more time for yourself.
Learn to think of the things you want and need in your life.
Learn new ways to comfort and pamper yourself.
Experience more joy.
Find comfort in seeing all that is possible.
Find more strength within yourself to make good choices.
Create an amazing list of new choices to choose from and implement into your life, whenever you choose to experience more.
Oh, and don’t start worrying about how you'll just want to eat more cookies if you do this Treat Eating Pampering Time strategy because If you do...you'll have to eat another cookie! Remember the rules? If you treat yourself badly you have to eat more. If you treat yourself with respect, talk nice, relax, and take time to pamper yourself in all the many ways that you can, especially now that you're clear on those alternatives...You will eat less.
Not that you ever need this from me or anyone, as most everything is a choice…
I give you permission to feel good while you let yourself enjoy those 3 cookies.
Go forth my cookie eating comrade, do this pampering exercise and HAVE FUN!
If you need help with your treat eating pampering time, or with any other strategy to help you make lasting change a reality for you, please contact me.
To find my answer to your other question: "How do I get my husband on board to eat healthy and exercise without making him feel bad or blaming him when I don’t eat healthy or exercise?"
Read my Q&A entry titled: Stop Blaming Him And Focus On You
BSG Event Answers For Healthy Woman Members
by CJ Harlan
© copyright 2014